A Woman in a Man's World

"Remember no one can make you feel

inferior without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I thought I'd talk about how this experience has gone for me so far - in terms of my emotional health.  Redoing a house is not for the faint of heart and can be very stressful.  This whole process has been a dream come true for me, but it has been stressful.  Not only am I trying to coordinate everything that needs to happen at the new house, but I've had to maintain our current home, put it on the market, and go through the whole process of selling which is another can of worms.  All while taking care of 4 Kidlets and a hubby.  It's been a juggle at times but I think overall I'm doing ok.

One of the things I was most hesitant about in taking this project on was having to call and talk to different contractors.  In the work that is required to maintain a home, let alone  major renovations, help from professionals is often needed to ensure work is done properly.  Those who know me know that I'm no shrinking violet so picturing me having a hard time calling contractors may be a stretch for some, but it's true.  I think it all really comes down to the fact that I don't like to look stupid.  I have made phone calls in the past and at times been made to feel so stupid that it really unsettled me.  I'm certainly no Albert Einstein, but I'm not stupid.  I have often felt like saying, "I'm sorry I don't know exactly how XY&Z work since I don't do this EVERYDAY like you, but I'm willing to learn if you spend a little time to explain it to me!  Jerk!"  (The "Jerk" part would really only be said in my head of course ;)

A month or so ago I was at the house standing in our master bathroom with 3 contractors, all of whom were men.  We were discussing what the plans were for that space and everyone was weighing in on what to do.  As I drove away, I realized that in that very situation I wasn't the one with the most expertise, but I was the boss.  They were all working for me.  Since I don't currently work outside the home, that's not a position I find myself in very often - being a boss of men.  (Greg may disagree ;)

With the exception of a pair of female painters and a husband/wife painting pair, ALL the contractors I've associated with, interviewed, and hired, have been men.  I'm thankful that so far it has been a very positive experience.  But I have had to be sure to be straight forward and hold my ground when I may be getting pushed in a direction I may not feel comfortable going.  Everyone has an opinion and it's important to listen to them because these are professionals who do this every day and they have a lot of good advice.  But advice aside, I've had to make sure my end goal is still being met despite what the experts may think.

Fortunately before we took this house on, I did have experience handling less then cooperative contractors to give me a little practice and confidence in holding my own.  Last year we had a new sprinkler system put in at our current house.  Greg handled most of the interviews and appointments but was at work the day of the install.  The installer was a big burly guy and from the get-go, he started emotionally pushing me around.  There was some discussion on where exactly the access to the house should be and I knew Greg had an opinion but I wasn't able to reach him at work.  I told the contractor we may have to hold off  a day until we could figure it out.  He was very pushy and told me it HAD to happen THAT day.  I know contractors have schedules and we need to be sympathetic to that, but if something is being done to MY house and it's permanent, they will wait until I'm sure it's where I want it to be.  I could tell he was trying to push me around because I was a woman.  I was having none of it.  I told him we certainly D.I.D N.O.T have to do it, nor would we do it, until I was sure we were doing it right.  He backed down and didn't question me after that.

Like I said, so far this experience has been a fairly positive one (with the exception of the appraiser, which is a story for another day).  I do have to have confidence in myself and my choices which can be uncomfortable at times, but every time I am, every time I hold my ground and push a little bit into the faith area, I grow just a little more and gain faith not only in myself but this process as a whole.  It's truly been amazing.

I hope you all have a great weekend and take the time to truly honor the amazing women in your life - especially your mother!

Spiritual uplift HERE.