My View's on the LDS Church's Policy of Children with Same-Sex Parents (November Challenge Day #8)

This past week my church issued a change in policy regarding children with parents in same-sex marriages/relationships.  My social media feed has lit up with views and opinions on both sides.  To be honest, I was a bit surprised by the change in policy myself.  I can understand why some would be hurt and take this new policy as something that is harming children.  I hope what I write below will shed some light on perhaps a different perspective and at least allow for another train of dialog.  

While I was not raised in a situation like the one recently being addressed, I was raised in a home where my mother was LDS and my father was not.  With having one parent who was not a member, conflicts over doctrine, expectations, and procedures within the church arose my entire childhood.  In fact, my father had such a problem with the young age of 8 for baptism that for years he said we (myself, and two siblings) couldn't be baptized until we were 16.  However, with my father's consent, I was eventually allowed to get baptized at 13 and my younger siblings baptized at 12 and 10.

Although my father most certainly had to give consent for each or our baptisms, that did not mean he then accepted and was happy with everything we did based on church doctrine.  In fact, I would have to say that his resentment to the church has only grown over the years as we have been married in the temple and had children of our own that have been blessed as babies and baptized at 8 and he has not been able to participate.

Growing up in the church was a CONSTANT source of contention in my parents marriage and we the children were put in a situation where we had to choose which side to be on.  Since my father did not really attend a church of his own and his employment required travel away for weeks at a time, my mother was able to raise us in the church but that did not mean we were free of the turmoil the contradiction in parental view points created.

My personality is strong and stubborn, much like my father's, but my beliefs were on the side of the church instead of in opposition like his.  Thus I dug my heals in on the side of the church eventually creating a proverbial "line in the sand" if you will, between his beliefs and mine.  Due to events that have occurred in my adult years, I believe much of my father's feelings and actions were done out of misunderstanding on his part towards what we really believed and why things were and are done the way they are.  I acknowledge that perhaps things were not explained to him as well as they should/could have been.

Even though there was much conflict over us children being raised and allowed to be baptized Mormon, I will be very clear in stating that I am forever grateful that I was allowed to get baptized at the age of 13.  Many spiritual experiences and growth of my testimony occurred during that time and up until I left the house at the age of 18.  BUT, I also can see the wisdom in the new policy as a protection for a child in not putting them in a situation to have to choose between parents and a set of religious views which openly contradicts the lifestyle choice of one or both of their parents.  I often wonder if there would have been more harmony in my home if that choice had been totally off the table from the very beginning.  I honestly still think my father would have allowed me to attend church and all of it's activities but the conflict with his belief system would not have existed and may have made for more harmony in my parents marriage and my childhood home had there not been a constant pressure for his children to be baptized while still in his care.

So one may ask, "Why then does this new policy only apply to children in same-sex marriage situations and not all situations where one or both parents do not believe in the LDS faith?"  I simply don't know. And while this may sound a bit ignorant, for now it's not for me to know.  I keep recalling the scripture in Isaiah 55:8-9 which reads,

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

None of us have all the answers, and for the majority of us, we are all just trying to do the right thing.  The right thing for me is to follow a living prophet who I have a firm testimony is guided and directed by an all knowing Savior and Heavenly Father.  I do not know all the situations that have come before the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve who I have no doubt made this a fervent matter of prayer and fasting in order to seek the will of God in its implementation.  We are a church that strongly believes in an open canon of scripture in regards to church doctrine so as a believer of such, I ultimately must say this change is the will of God.  It truly pains me to see those who have opposing view points jump to conclusions as to why these decisions were made without first listening and being open to the reasons and path those who are implementing them took.

None of us are perfect.  In all of earth's history I believe there is only one who ever lived a perfect sinless life.  As a believing member of His church, I honestly believe the Savior of us all knows exactly what He is doing.  I truly believe He is at the head of this church and therefore believe in and stand behind this policy change, even if I don't have all the answers now.  

I know for many this policy change means they will be in pain and that is sad to me, but if anyone knows of your pain you have no greater Ally than Christ himself.  He will make it all OK if you trust in Him and stay the course.  Of this I am sure.  In this one truth you can and must trust.

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**To view or read more on the LDS Church's views please go HERE.  

**And because I just watched/listened to it and I think it's fitting for this situation, I hope you enjoy this beautiful song: