One of the biggest things I've learned as a wife and mother is that I can't do it all on my own. At times the tasks laid before us seem as vast and as daunting as the ocean spread before my kidlet #4 in the picture above. We live in a world today that seems to tell us that if we aren't doing it all ourselves we are somehow failing. Why is that?
I had a conversation with a friend once who was struggling with the fact that she hires someone to come in and clean her house on occasion. She was afraid of what others would think and that they would judge her for being able to do that. Why? This friend is constantly opening up her home to others and is always doing things to serve others. In my opinion, she deserves it.
I think a good rule of thumb in obtaining help is this, "If it helps you be a better person, wife, mother, friend, then go for it." If means that hiring someone to watch your kids once a week for a few hours while you run errands will make you less stressed and more pleasant to be around, ring a ding ding that sitter! If it means hiring someone to come clean your house once a week or once a month so you can enjoy your family more, then schedule that cleaning today! You get the point.
This past summer, shortly after my children went back to school, I went up in our loft to get something. I rarely ever go up there since most of my tasks are centered on the first floor. My kids go up often since that's where the games and TV are. To say I was disgusted with what I found is an understatement. I will not lie in saying that the anger, frustration, and annoyance were boiling at there highest level. I was so overwhelmed with everything that I just started crying. I was thisclose to driving to my kids school and pulling them all out of classes to come home and clean it up! (I didn't do that but I can assure you they cleaned it up when they got home and I reserve the right to do it at a future date.)
After I calmed down a bit I started to think about what needed to happen to make the situation better. I knew I needed help. I was just too overwhelmed to tackle it all by myself. I texted a young college girl who was home for a few weeks to arrange some times she could come and help me. It was the best money I've spent in a long time. She literally was a second me. One of the days she was over I stood at my kitchen counter organizing a drawer and anything else that popped into my brain that I thought about, I told her to do. That ranged from cleaning off the front of my fridge and dishwasher, to vacuuming the kids rooms, to picking off tape stuck to the floor in the loft left by the previous owner. One day she commented that she felt like she hadn't done very much, but she had sat and played with kidlet #4 for a few hours while I finally tackled her bedroom and organized all her clothes. She had done more then she would ever know!!! She lifted heavy things I couldn't and ran up and down my stairs several times as we tackled the kids toys and things in my basement. If she hadn't gone back to school so soon, I would have used her a lot more. While I still have a lot left to do, her help was invaluable in putting me on a better course to organizing my home.
I'm a firm believer that at times we just need a little encouragement and boost to help us on our way in tackling all the projects that can all too often overwhelm us. Sometimes that means we hire someone to help us, sometimes it means we engage the rest of our family members to step up and work together, other times it means we trade off with a friend in helping each other get the things that make our house a home completed. Don't be embarrassed or think you are less if you need help! We all need help in this life no matter what our situation is. In fact, I guarantee you will make more friends and become more approachable if you do say, "I can't do it all! I need help!" Asking for help is sometimes just as valuable as giving it.
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